Reflecting on social media and loneliness

It’s been a different year – not bad, just different.

In January I deleted all of my Meta accounts and then took a break from all social media. It was initially just intended to be a month long break but I think it ended up being three months. Since then, I’ve been somewhat active on Bluesky (basically the only platform I’m on now; I don’t really count LinkedIn, as I’m not active there).

Shortly after leaving social media, my mum (and her dog) moved in with us while she waited to have a hip replacement. There was definitely a bit of an adjustment, while we got used to living together again after nearly thirty years but, overall, it was really nice to spend that time together and we got into a really nice routine.

She moved back home last week. This is good. Her hip surgery was a success and she is feeling strong enough to live independently again but it hit me harder than expected.

After a bit of journaling (I don’t journal nearly enough, but glad I took the time to do so that day), I realized I’m worried about being lonely. Counter intuitively, it made me want to take another break from social media to (hopefully) create some new patterns.

I know that when I’m lonely, I’ll scroll social media. When I am truly active and engaging on social media, I have found that I can fritter away large chunks of time through replying to posts or reading interesting things that are shared there or just ending up going down unexpected rabbit holes.

I’m not anti-social media. I’ve learned a lot through social media and have met so many people through it who have become good friends online and in person. My activity on social media has probably also helped me to get some jobs. So I’m definitely not trying to slam it as a form of socializing or imply that it is bad.

However I know that, for me personally, I can tend to use it like the fast food of socializing. It’s convenient but it doesn’t always nourish me.

With that in mind, and my current (pretty big) change in home routine, I thought this might be a good time to take another break from social media to focus on other aspects of my life that I always mean to spend more time on and never seem to get around to.

I’m not going completely offline, while I am taking a break from social media, I intend to share some updates on my website and can be contacted here, if needed.

p.s., I don’t want anyone to worry that I’m super lonely. If anything, it’s the opposite most of the time (this introvert has to be an extrovert all day at work). It’s just that I know that in the past, when I have been lonely, I’ve turned to social media to fill that void. During peak pandemic, it functioned as a life raft to keep me connected with people outside my bubble and I certainly appreciate the friends I have made through social media over the years.
When I left social media earlier this year, I very quickly replaced the time I spent engaging on social media with spending time with my mum. I’m really grateful to have had that quality time with her. Now I’m looking forward to seeing what I can do with my free time since I’ll have more of it to myself.